


to be loved, to be loved (what more could you ask for)

by mintables



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: M/M, at any rate this is all just domestic fluff. as usual, but have SO much love to give each other, god..... i love them, it's Dedue Appreciation Hours here baby!!!, it's dedue appreciation hours 24/7 in fact, tfw u gotta let ur husband kno how much U Care Him!!!!!, thinkin bout how these two are the WORST at receiving affection, this is RIDICULOUSLY sappy im actually embarrassed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-19 19:36:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20662601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mintables/pseuds/mintables
Summary: Dedue is not particularly good at receiving affection.Dimitri wants, more than anything, to change that.





	to be loved, to be loved (what more could you ask for)

**Author's Note:**

> it's 4 am and im feelin ridiculously sappy. and also have like two projects due but i couldnt possibly work on them till this was out of my system so (throws schmoop at u all) here............... Them

Dedue is not particularly good at receiving affection.

It’s something Dimitri has come to realize, since the war has ended and they have fallen into the relationship that had seemed inevitable, that the past nine years had been building towards. Dedue had admitted he loved him, and Dimitri returned the feeling wholeheartedly, has  _ always  _ returned it, but… he has learned, in the months since things have finally settled down, that Dedue has a hard time  _ letting  _ Dimitri love him.

It is not an issue that he alone has- Dimitri knows all too well that he, himself, often struggles to allow himself to be loved, no matter how freely he loves in return. It seems impossible, sometimes, that he should be allowed to have this, something so wholeheartedly  _ good  _ after all that he is done, after how much he has proven he does not by any means deserve someone like Dedue.

It is, perhaps, his own struggle at receiving affection that allows him to so easily see the same doubts, the same hesitation reflected in Dedue, and it makes his heart ache. That someone as kind, as loving, as wholeheartedly  _ good  _ as Dedue will still try to deflect Dimitri’s attention, will dodge his compliments and try to focus on  _ him  _ instead…

He supposes it’s why they work so well together, have always done so from the very start. Neither of them are very good at allowing themselves to be loved, but- and he knows this implicitly, because it is as much a part of him now as anything else, and has been lodged in his heart for the better part of nine years, changing and growing but always  _ remaining- _ they love each other, fully and completely, and that is something he is confident in, now, something that will never change.

Of course the two people in the world so terrible at receiving love but with so much of it to give would find each other, he thinks, lips twisting wryly.

But… he is working through his hangups, now; he is  _ trying  _ to let himself be loved, trying to allow himself to believe he deserves it. He absolutely refuses not to let Dedue do the same, not to help him to see himself the way Dimitri has always seen him- someone as damn near perfect as it gets.

So he is here, now, in their shared bedroom, nervously steeping matching cups of ginger tea and hoping above all hope that he has gotten it right. Dedue has been out all week, overseeing construction in Duscur while Dimitri has been trapped in Fhirdiad working through negotiations and a seemingly endless flood of paperwork, but he’s due to arrive back tonight. Letters alone have not been enough; Dimitri has missed him terribly.

He intends to make tonight all about Dedue the moment he gets back- and oh, he hopes he has not timed this wrong. He wants the tea to still be hot when Dedue arrives. Dimitri glances out the window, as he has done several times now in the past hour, and is this time rewarded with the sight of an approaching carriage. He pushes himself from his seat in an instant, not caring about appearing composed as he races out of their room and down the stairs towards the entrance hall. He has waited long enough.  _ Goddess,  _ he’s missed him.

Dimitri skids into the hall at the same time Dedue steps through the door, and he barely has time to set his bags down before Dimitri is flinging his arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss, one Dedue gladly returns. “I missed you,” he breathes against Dedue’s lips when he pulls back. “Welcome home.”

Dedue chuckles. “I missed you too, Dimitri.” And  _ oh, _ Dimitri has missed the way Dedue says his name most of all.

He picks up Dedue’s bags before Dedue can move to do so, grinning. “I made tea.” He pauses to kiss him again, quickly, because he’s  _ missed  _ him. “We should hurry. I don’t want it to get cold.”

Dedue follows him, a flush across his cheeks as they make their way up the stairs at a much more reasonable pace than the rate Dimitri had run down them. “You… made tea?” he asks slowly, sounding a little awed. Dimitri’s chest feels a little too tight at the fact that even such a small gesture is enough for Dedue to react in such a manner.

He shifts the bags to one hand, reaching for Dedue’s with the other and squeezing reassuringly. “Of course I did,” he says softly. “I hope it’s to your liking- you know I still struggle to taste. I just…”

He trails off when they reach their bedroom door, dropping Dedue’s hand to hold it open for him. Oh, he wants so badly to do this right, to treat Dedue  _ right. _

Dedue’s face softens as he lifts a cup of tea while Dimitri busies himself placing his bags near the foot of their bed. They’ll sort them out later. “Ginger… my favorite,” he breathes, and his gaze when he meets Dimitri’s is so  _ soft,  _ so  _ open _ and Dimitri can’t help but cross the distance between them, can’t help but pull him down into a lingering kiss. Dedue sighs softly against his lips, and Dimitri chases the sound, warmth building in his chest.

Dedue pulls back first and rests their foreheads together, eyes fluttering shut softly. “Thank you, Dimitri,” he murmurs, quiet and intimate in the stillness of their room. Dimitri brings a hand to his cheek, tracing over the scars with reverent fingertips. “You are too good to me.”

“Dedue…” Dimitri breathes, pulling away a little so he can look at Dedue’s whole face, drink in every last little detail, each and every scar that only he gets to see. “My love, I could  _ never  _ be too good to you. There is not enough good in the world for all you deserve.”

Dedue’s breath hitches, his whole face flushing. He’s  _ radiant.  _ Dimitri doesn’t think he could ever get enough of just  _ looking  _ at him. He kisses the scar on Dedue’s chin instead, soft and light, and Dedue makes a quiet noise of contentment that he relishes in. “Dimitri…”

“Dedue. Love,” he answers, kissing the scar on his lip next. “Do you know how much I cherish you?”

Dedue is flushing redder by the moment, looking a little overwhelmed, but he manages to answer, lips quirking into a familiar smile. “You… tell me often, yes,” he murmurs teasingly, but his eyes are so bright Dimitri knows he is trying to deflect.

He won’t let him.

“I am serious,” he insists, and kisses the scar on Dedue’s cheek for good measure. “I don’t want you to forget it, even for a moment. How cherished you are-” and he kisses Dedue’s other cheek, “-how irreplaceable.” He pulls away, cupping Dedue’s face in both hands and meeting his gaze steadily. “I love you, Dedue, with all that I am.  _ Please  _ never forget that.”

Dedue’s eyes look watery, but Dimitri can’t be sure because the next moment Dedue is kissing him, sweet and gentle and it’s everything Dimitri could ask for, everything he’d never dared to let himself dream of.

He pulls back first, just to pepper kisses over Dedue’s face, to murmur against his skin. “You deserve the world and more,” he breathes between kisses, swallowing Dedue’s breathy sigh against his lips. “I cannot give you enough- I wish I could- there will never be enough for all I wish I could give you-”

Dedue makes a soft noise. “Dimitri… you have given me  _ yourself.  _ That is more than enough. To be worthy of your love is more than I could ask for.”

Dimitri kisses him again, soft and slow. “You have me. Heart and body, mind and soul. You have all of me. But…” He trails off, rubbing a thumb idly over the plane of Dedue’s cheekbone. “You know, I feel exactly the same. To think that  _ I  _ am worthy of your love…”

“You’re  _ more _ than worthy of it,” Dedue breathes. Dimitri frowns and pulls back a little.

“It is you who’s far more than worthy of  _ my  _ love, Dedue.” He kisses away Dedue’s rising protest, soft but insistent. “Please… allow me to take care of you more often. Tonight… and always.”

Dedue exhales shakily. “Dimitri…”

Dimitri does not break eye contact, and he can  _ see  _ Dedue relent, watches as he lets his walls crumble until it’s just the two of them, there in their room, laid bare before each other.

As they always are, as they always will be.

“Very well,” Dedue murmurs, and Dimitri does not hesitate to take his hands, to lead him back towards their bed. The moment Dedue settles onto the sheets Dimitri is climbing into his lap and kissing him like his life depends on it- and it may not, not really, but Dedue  _ is  _ his life, his world, the reason he has fought so long and the reason he will keep fighting if he must, and  _ goddess,  _ he wants him to  _ know  _ it.

“You are my world,” he says, earnest and unwavering. Dedue’s hands tighten at his hips, eyes wet. He kisses the tears away before they have fully formed. “My love.” He kisses his forehead, over one long scar. “Gorgeous.” He kisses the other scar. “Radiant.”

Dedue makes a muffled noise, bringing his hands to cover his face. He’s flushed so, so bright, and Dimitri  _ loves  _ him, is buzzing with the knowledge that he has this effect on this impossibly perfect man that against all odds he has been allowed to call  _ his. “Dimitri…”  _ he manages, voice weak.

“Dedue,” he returns, catching his wrists and gently tugging his hands from his face. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Dedue echoes softly, looking a little dazed as Dimitri turns his hands over, pressing kisses along the inside of his wrists and up his palms.

“I’ve always loved your hands, you know,” Dimitri murmurs, voice hushed, reverent, barely a whisper above Dedue’s palm. “Everything about you is exquisite, of course. But I have always admired how much they are capable of- so many delicate things I do not think I will ever manage.” He kisses Dedue’s fingertips, slowly and gently. “ _ You  _ are capable of- of so many things.”

Dedue lets out a soft sigh as Dimitri continues his gentle kisses, pressing a line up his forearm. “Dimitri…”

It does not seem he is capable of saying much more than that, right now. Dimitri feels a little dizzy at the thought.

“I love you,” he breathes between kisses, pressing closer, closer to Dedue’s warmth. “I love you,  _ I love you, _ god,  _ Dedue…” _

Dedue reaches a hand out to thread through Dimitri’s hair, and the touch is so gentle, so familiar, it makes his chest ache. “Dimitri. I love you too- so much-”

He’s cut off when Dimitri’s lips meet his, and they fall into their usual rhythm, an achingly sweet push and pull where, like they have sworn in every other aspect of their lives, they are unquestionably equals, unquestionably  _ each other’s.  _ Tonight, though, Dedue does not protest as Dimitri pulls away to trail kisses over his face, his jaw, as much of him as he can reach, murmuring praises across every inch of skin he kisses. He wishes he could kiss all of Dedue, wishes he could chase all of his doubts away with words of love.

He tells him as much, and Dedue laughs softly, even as his eyes brim with tears that Dimitri is quick to kiss away. “Dimitri… it is still difficult, I will admit, to let myself…  _ have  _ this, sometimes,” he breathes. Dimitri presses another kiss to the scar over his lips.

“Dedue…”

“But I am trying,” Dedue finishes softly. “Thank you… for this. Not just tonight. Always.”

It’s Dimitri’s turn, now, to feel as if he might cry.  _ Goddess,  _ he loves him. “Trying is all I can ask,” he says instead, and kisses Dedue more deeply, lets himself get lost in the slide of their lips together and the gentle press of Dedue’s hands and, above all, the glowing warmth of the knowledge that Dedue is finally,  _ finally  _ letting himself be  _ loved. _

(It is later, when they are curled against each other in bed and Dedue’s hands in his hair are lulling him to sleep, that Dimitri realizes that they have let their tea go cold.)

(He doesn’t particularly care, anymore.)

**Author's Note:**

> ONE DAY i'll post a dimidue at a reasonable hour. but that's not tonight. anyways blah blah blah find me at twitter dot com forward slash ylissebian where i will without fail be posting screencaps of the dimidue A support daily... support my career as a dimidue bot


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